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Friday, October 20, 2006

And Now We Are in the UK; Detour Festival Picture

Most people don’t know this, but a gallon of jet fuel weighs about six and a half pounds. Over the course of the flight we are going to burn about 15,000 pounds of that fuel… An interesting bit of trivia: Because of all the weight lost during your trip, the plane will actually be moving faster at takeoff than when we land. Tell that one to your friends, heh, heh, heh…

By some blessed stroke of luck, we flew from Los Angeles to London with the Smartest, Most Sensitive Man in the Universe as our captain. We learned about the Woolly Mammoth fossils recently discovered in Utah as we passed over them. As we flew over New England, we learned about Bostemic, the Bostonian pidgin of English that developed because an excess of fluoride in the region’s water supply in the 1800s swelled the residents’ nasal passages and caused them to speak kind of retarded. We learned about the captain’s abusive mother and alcoholic father because he needed to vent, I guess. It was his informative commentary that enabled us to stomach American Airlines’ insufferable inflight entertainment—they were showing Adam Sandler’s Click—and sparse vegetarian fare—they served Nathaniel and I cold water bagels for both meals—that made the flight bearable. (A quick aside: Save for that captain, it seems the entire American Airlines institution has been infected with some sort of generational malaise that makes them suck at just about everything. On the three flights we have taken on the airline, we’ve witnessed bickering stewards, the worst in movies, lost luggage, and when our luggage hasn’t been lost, the baggage handlers have tried to convince us that it was. Just a big corporation committed to sucking hardcore.)

Now we’re in Norwich for our first of ten dates with the We Are Scientists. We usually only put out after the third date, but if they play their cards right, they might get laid tonight. (Chris is awfully cute.)

That’s all for now, stay tuned for frequent updates.

I love you,

Ben Lee Handler

Oh yes, at the Detour festival Nathaniel and I met My Name is Earl.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ben Lee Handler: We at LightBox miss you. We had a fabu opening for George Stoll last night. Still I cannot tell you how many people came over and said "Hey where is that skinny glam dude?" Then I have to explain that you are out on tour kicking ass with Blood Arm in the UK. It is a bittersweet cool though. We miss you, but we are happy when you are out with an awesome band because, you know we dig that.
Big alohas all around,

11:39 PM  

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