Goodbye BLOOD AMBITION 2005

Before BLOOD AMBITION 2005 becomes BLOOD AMBITION 2006, I have been told it is extremely important I make a list of some sort, summarizing my 2005. I am not one to disappoint.

This is my year in numbers.

BLOOD AMBITION 2005 entries: 81
Appearances of the word “fuck” in BLOOD AMBITION 2005: 4
Appearances of the word “Zachary” in BLOOD AMBITION 2005: 422
(Physical) Orgasms experienced as a result of typing the word “Zachary”: 6,423
Appearances of the phrase No, seriously, Bloc Party is the Greatest Band EVER in BLOOD AMBITION 2005: 1
Tours of the UK: 3
Average number of (alcoholic) drinks consumed per night of each UK tour: 6.6
Average number of (alcoholic) drinks consumed each night at home: 4.2
Average weight before each UK tour (in English pounds): 86
Average weight upon returning home from each UK tour (in English pounds): 65
Money I’ve made as a result of my work with The Blood Arm (in U.S. Dollars): 50,000,000
Situations in which I’ve fallen down: 62
(Physical) Orgasms experienced as a result of falling down: 4
Panda Cam viewings: 684
(Physical) Orgasms experienced while viewing the Panda Cam: 7,462
Viewings of Nathaniel’s ass-crack: 8,467
(Physical) Orgasms experienced while viewing Nathaniel’s ass-crack: .5
People I’ve met: 2,492
People I’ve touched (physically): 3,136
People I’ve touched (spiritually): 45, 693
People I’ve kissed (women): 979
People I’ve kissed (men): 882
People I’ve kissed with tongue (women): 2,476
People I’ve kissed with tongue (men): 76,896
People with whom I’ve had sexual intercourse (physically): 8,632
People with whom I’ve had sexual intercourse (spiritually): 102,496
People to whom I’ve given orgasms (physically): 2,678,994
People to whom I’ve given orgasms (spiritually): 484,382,111
Orgasms I’ve enjoyed: 8,876,232
Orgasms I’ve not enjoyed: 3
Orgasms I thought were OK: 42
Orgasms I can’t remember: 57
Situations in which I’ve thanked Jesus: 365

Happy New Year!


-Ben Lee