HasselON, Germany! -OR- Heaven Is A Place In Münster, Frankfurt and München

Every day we’ve been in Germany has been the Greatest Day of Our Lives. It’s as if the country gave us all hydrogen sneakers when we crossed the border… We don’t walk around this country, we float on air without care or worry of ever crashing down. Forget the Hindenberg! Fuck Icarus!, we say, We’re the Blood Arm, goddamnit, and in Deutchland we’re flying OVER the sun!

This is as good as it gets, until tomorrow:

In Münster, Zachary found that every time he hit his bass drum, the smell of the sweetest strawberries would arise.


In Frankfurt, Nathaniel got the best blowjob ever, and Zebastian got the most wonderful surprise when the singer finished.


In München /Munich, Dyan conjured a beautiful piano out of thin air, just by thinking about it.


We’ve only been in Berlin a few hours now, and already I’ve had a threesome with a girl on a bicycle and a blue sheep,


and some dudes gave Nathaniel a car with his picture on it.


I would write more, but I’m being poured a champagne bath, and I don’t want to electrocute myself.

I love you in German, today even more than yesterday.

xxxooo,

Ben Lee Handler

What We've Been Up To Lately

Nathaniel has been holed-up editing the new video for 'Angela,' the next single from the hit album Lie Lover Lie. (Little known fact: He actually used to do this sort of thing for a living. You know, hole himself up.)

Dyan is currently foraging for free food at her parents' house in San Carlos--and hanging out with them, too--before she takes up transient residence in London prior to our February-March tour. Her tentative plans for her UK stay include picking up a posh London accent. Interviewers beware!

Zebastian is devising a new technique for victory in the strategy game Axis and Allies. When asked why he always insists on playing as the Axis powers, Zebastian declined to comment. (When further pressed, he assured me his prefence of roles in the board game has nothing to do with his decidedly Aryan features.)

Zachary and his wife have adopted a German Shepherd puppy and named it Optimus Prime. Though it has not been house-trained yet, Optimus already excels in attracting the attention of hot girls and homeless people. Zach has also taken up bathing occassionally, and is breaking in a new yellow t-shirt.

I've been taking care of Dyan's apartment while she's gone, watering her nonexistent plants. Also, eating her food. Also, wearing her clothes. Also, introducing myself to people as "Dyan Valdés."

The band takes off to Paris Thursday for a quick promo jaunt, which will include Nathaniel singing in French on National Television. Stay Tuned!

I love you,

Ben Lee Handler

Oh yes... I will post more pictures from the 'Angela' shoot as soon as I can find the disc. I think I left it at my friend Hannah's house, so hassle her.