A Brief Synopsis of Our Latest UK Tour

We have just lustily toured the fuck out of the UK. Below is a brief summary. To read more about any of the selections, simply click on its heading and you will be routed directly to the honeypot of your choosing.

World Class Travelers - In which we drink, fly to London, and a small creature that only Nathaniel can see tears up the wing of our plane. In London, we ae acquainted with Tour Manager Chalkie.

Nottingham, Glasgow - In which we revert to the days of black and white, then later, grainy color in Nottingham, and are molested by Graham of the Flying Matchstick Men in Glasgow.

Liverpudly and Leedsian Love Affairs - In which Crazy Pete from Stealer lives up to his moniker and we fall in love with the Grates all over again in Leeds. Also, Dyan gives us a tour of the Korova bar.

Middlesbrough, Sweaty Men - In which my Semitic livelihood is threatened by a large skinhead.

London Calling; We, Coming - In which we pick up a straggler, hang out with famous people, and things get a little mixed up. Like our sexuality. And our minds.

England Wins! Also, Stoke - In which Tour Manager Chalkie's true priorities are revealed, and we witness some Emoks in their natural habitat.

Manchester Roadhouse; Federline, Yo - In which we learn a little more about Zachary's mysterious past, and the Blood Arm play their greatest show ever.

Milkshake Mix in London; More Crazy Pete - In which Dyan is tortured savagely by Zebastian and Zachary while I eat lunch with my fancy friends. Also, video of Crazy Pete acting something other than sane.

White Heat is White Hot - In which London's premier nightclub sticks ice down our pants, gives us a wedgie, then makes love to us like an untamed beast (AKA doggie-style). It's hot. Also, celebrity guests.

Drowning in the Sound of the Grates - In which the Grates blow up balloons with their name printed in bold letters on the front, and we jealously pop them. They cry a little bit, we take pity and blow up more ballons for them. Even more than before. Our last show of the tour. Also, I get a side job. Later, a hand one.