Kept Apart From You Inside the Jail

A few months ago, after a TBA show at the Barfly in Glasgow, I saw someone carrying a cat in a cage. Both the owner and the cat seemed very unhappy--the cat because it was cold outside and he was locked in a cage, the owner because it was cold outside and he had to carry his screeching cat around with him. It was all very sad.

I pointed the twosome out to our tour manager, Paul, and told him it reminded me of this David Shrigley collage:


Paul laughed for a moment, then replied, "Did you see Mr. Shrigley at the show tonight?"

This took me back a bit, because while I am a big fan of Shrigley's work, I have no idea what he looks like. And Paul asked me this as if I should have known him. And I would love to know him! I would love to know David Shrigley!

I tried to put it all behind me at that point in time, but I sort of hated Paul for not introducing me. (Not hate him, hate him, I was just a little disappointed.)

That same hate/disappointment stirred in me once again this evening when I purchased Shrigley's new book:


After poring over it for an hour or so, it occurs to me that Shrigley and I are meant to be best friends in the world. Like, playing truth-or-dare, drinking diet soda, pillow-fighting, and whispering our celebrity crushes to one-another... That kind of best friends. Best friends who do each other's homework in school when the other is sick, take bullets for each other in gang wars, swap wives on our joint honeymoons. The bestest of best friends ever.

The book is so funny and so sad. He draws conjoined twins, one better-looking than the other. He draws sad men with monster-prostitutes. And he ends his book with my favorite Donald Barthelme short story, "The Baby."

And--perhaps serving as the greatest indicator of his bestfriendworthiness--he attends TBA shows in Glasgow.

I love him like a brother and I never even knew him.

-Ben Lee

Oh! Speaking of men whom I love like brothers, Zebastian takes issue with my dubbing him "creepy" in the last entry, and has promised to prove otherwise, in writing, on this very page. Specifically, he will be discussing his favorite role-playing games. If you can't wait that long for a healthy helping of your favorite guitar player, follow-up on his pee-wee baseball league for underprivileged youth here: www.carlislelittleleague.com.

And if you're feeling lonely, cheerful, or the slightest bit horny, say hello to Grandmaster B of the Blood Arm!